we remember past times

those past times

old memories
found loves
and they pain us through and through
because they never fade

those past times
they sear through our hearts
burning it
and we remember what it felt like 
to lose something we loved

time heals nothing
only, it tries to make the memory fade
though never succeeding
leaving sorrow in its wake

i loved you, all of you

there was nothing you could have done
to make it any stronger than what it was
than what it is

the love morphed
it changed, like a caterpillar to a butterfly
it shined and it faded, as most things do
but it always returned to me
always came back to me
without you ever even knowing it

things do not change that easily 
something like love
for some, a matter of time
for others
they keep the love forever

i chose to love you 
to give you a shelf within my heart
i chose to allow you to do 
what you wanted with it
even if it meant tearing my heart apart

And then I met her. Who is nothing like what I have thought, nothing I would’ve imagined could have existed. Exploration, future, companionship, discovery. That’s what she is. A personification of a verb, not even enough to use adjectives. Descriptive, passionate, intense.

she is everything that i could have ever dreamed about
but what about them, i ask myself
because how can she exist in the form that she is
the she-wolf that she impersonates
while i still hold back and dream of you?

You swarm when I think of things not involving you. You come from nowhere, you relish in startling me because I never thought of you like this before. 

you float in front of my eyes
torturing me 
because you know
you aren’t supposed to be there
here
wherever i am